By Gina Bribany
Our survival mechanisms could play us a dirty game when we are not paying attention to our behaviors, but more importantly to the beliefs behind those behaviors. Here are two errors you want to correct to preserve or increase your happiness.
- Do not suppress your emotions
Some people misunderstand emotional Intelligence as suppressing their emotions. Especially under traumatic or very stressful circumstances, some people tend to numb themselves to not feel the emotional pain. What they do not know is that it is impossible to numb only negative emotions; when you numb frustration, anger, sadness, you also numb joy, happiness, and excitement. We can’t selectively numb emotions, we either feel both or we don’t feel them at all. The way out is embracing emotions as data. Emotions provide us information about our current mental and physical stage. Instead of disregarding the negative emotions we observe them quietly, we accept them as part of being human, we quick taking it personally, and then we let them go.
- Do not hide your imperfections
We all have imperfections as humans. However, for survival reasons we want to hide them from everyone else. We want to feel accepted, recognized and loved. We believe that if people know our imperfections, we will lose their affection or approval. Interestingly, social studies indicate that people that fear shame from their imperfections experience the feeling of not being good enough. On the contrary, people that accept their imperfections and share their vulnerabilities with grace and humbleness experience a sense of worthiness and belonging.
Read more on this in my book The fourth Brain A Different Way Of Living