It is not a secret that change is considered a threat for human beings. We do not like to change because it takes us out of our comfort zones.
However, we always have things that we would like to change, starting by changing others, as this were a possible thing to do.
If you really want something to change, here is what you need to know:
1. You need to identify what the real issue is
For example, it is not enough to say I want to have better relationships if you do not know what is causing you to have poor relationships. A way to identify the real issue is creating a list of the problems you encounter around your relationships or any other thing you want to change. Then you identify common denominators or patterns. Then, explore your emotions around those common denominators and the interpretation you give to those emotions. There will be the key to identifying what the real challenge is.
2. Everyone you interact with is your mirror
If you do want to change someone, change your perspective of them. What we dislike about others is exactly what we need to transcend, the more you critic what the other person do wrong, the more you get into the trap of doing the same and even worst. You could say you are not as critical as the other person is, but you are being critical of them at the same time, and so on.
3. Transform instead of changing
Changing implies modifying something that already exist. Require a big effort to unlearned something we already know as a habit, that learning something new. Now, imagine for a minute that instead of changing something you create something completely new. You invent a new possibility for you and the other person. A clean and new conversation in the present without past or future. Then, you will be able to transform all you want to be transformed.
Are you willing to forget the past and embrace the present for a new future?